When to sleep

There is nothing like a nice nap after a good meal:



Of course, in the past I have also enjoyed sleeping during a good meal:

The important thing with sleep is knowing its time and place. Ideally, in 45 minute increments right before and/or after my parents are trying to eat. That way I can be nice and impatient while they try and eat.

This picture has nothing to do with anything

Other than show off the fact that I am ridiculously cute.

Last night was my second night in a row where I:

• Went to bed around 7
• Woke up around 10 and had a midnight snack in bed
• Woke up around 3 and had a morning snack in the glider
• Woke up around 5 in the morning

It's almost become a pattern which means I have to change soon.

When one is planning on become WORLD RULER, one must know what one is up against. To this end, I accompanied my father to the voting booth this morning. Using Connecticut's finest technology, he took part in this sham. At least when I am world ruler there will be no pretense of non-shamness. All those people who think their votes count should remember Al Gore. He thought his vote counted and he's a shmuck.

So that is what uncles are good for.

A common Halloween game is to put a common food in a bin in a dark room and call it something gross or scary. For example, one might place head cheese in a bucket and call it human brains. Or one might place a wet noodle in a debate and call it John Kerry.

Saturday, by chance I happened to grab my uncle Peti Bacsi's hair (insert joke here about not being able to grab my dad's hair). It was freaky. His hair was like spaghetti with gelatin but it was also like earthworms in butter but it was also like hay (I love hay) in mud.



Yeah, it was weird.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7881885338696361315&hl=en

Things are going swimmingly

I have discovered the reason that I haven't been sleeping very well - my crib is too small. My parents keep trying to get me asleep in these tiny spaces: cribs, carseats, bouncy seats, etc. I need a king sized bed. I think I'm going to go after my parents about this even before I try and wring a cell phone out of them.


Your average crib is 55 inches long by 33 inches wide. I am a growing baby who needs his room. I'm not some European who would be happy with an apartment that big. I need a bed that behooves the future leader of the world. Something measured in feet not inches.

Look at how happy I am to be on a king-sized bed:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8387745476559087792&hl=en

Can you imagine how happy I'll be when I get a bed made for a baby like me?

Ways to deal with tummy problems

Through much of my youth I have had issues with my stomach. This has been the root cause of much of my restlessness and many a sleepless night for my parents. They have resorted to some weird stuff in the past, but last night it got really weird. I'm a little embarrassed to type what happened, so let me describe it verbally:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4854831359272740936

Crazy, eh? If my parents ever ask you to lay down on your side, DON'T.

The good news is that they don't listen to Balazs Bacsi. He came up with a nasty, weird and typical (for him) suggestion on how to soothe me when my tummy is bothering me:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=26042

What the hay?

Yesterday, I was trying out a new disguise. I snuck into a pumpkin patch and tried to hide as a pumpkin. I was only partially successful. I think the issue was my brown hair. I'm going to have a chat with my dad about how he gets his head so shiny and round.


They had this crazy stuff in the pumpkin patch. It's called hay. You really need to check it out.


No, you really need to check it out.

It really is quite interesting. Believe me. It's awesome. Go to a field near you and check it out. NOW.