On Friday az anyam (my mother for those non-Hungaraphones) took me to hang out with some other little kiddies. There were some fine ladies there, but they were mostly a little old for me - some even twice my age. Whilst we were there az anyam plopped me onto a scale and measured my weight. I don't know why adults are so conscious of weight. I assume that it's a good thing I'm putting on weight but I'm starting to get worried.
Anyway, I've been putting on weight. I weighed 11 pounds 3 ounces at the age of 32 days. Doing a least-squares regression on my weight from conception, I am now projecting a weight of 358 pounds even on my 18th birthday. This is significantly less than my previous forecasts. I am concerned as the bigger I get the faster I should grow as my weight should increase with volume as opposed to just height or waistline. I am going to propose a workout or a Lean Six Sigma event to peel back the layers and get the skinny on my decelerating weight gain.
1 comment:
"Least squares regression"? Is that Connecticuttean for "linear"?
Matty. Few things are linear in this world, including adolescent weight gain. Try this and see what your next projection is:
y = qx - rx2
Mess around with variables q and r, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Ron Borstein
Director of the Department of Mathematics and Fat People
Post a Comment