Always go for 120%

If the movie Kingpin taught us anything, it's that the Amish always try to go 20% more. I figure I'm about 333% better than the Amish because I use buttons and zippers. That means I am always striving to be 400% better than anyone else.

When I look at the youth of today I see them attempting to place a thumb or a pointer finger in their mouths. To them I say, "Pshaw." My goal is to fit my entire hand in my mouth. I have been making good progress sucking on some of my fingers and corners of my fist, but before my 12th (week) birthday I will achieve success. Oh yes, success will be mine.