My father is Keyser Söze

Actually, that might be a little harsh. He might not be. All I know is, he drive us to Binghamton and then he's gone. He shows up one Sunday and disappears on Monday. He flies in on Friday and out on Saturday - his arms must have been tired after that.

I'm actually thinking that he might be a spy and we're just his cover life. Or he's got another family that he keeps sneaking off to visit. Or he has to continue working while we're visiting Mom's family in Toronto. Or he's secretly training to be the next center for the Browns and has been taking out the existing ones one at a time.